


Clearing the Air

by literati42



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Discussion of Michael/Alex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Their friendship gives me life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 15:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19275898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literati42/pseuds/literati42
Summary: Kyle knows he has been missing something essential every day since high school. That something is his friendship with Alex, and he is not going to let a murderous Master Sergent or their own mangled emotional history stop him from being Alex's friend again. Luckily, a misstep leads to a moment for clearing the air.A story of Kyle and Alex's friendship





	Clearing the Air

Being a smalltown doctor was never part of the plan for Kyle Valenti. When he was captain of the football team and sending out applications into the world, he knew he was going to be something big. He never intended to come home to Roswell, but that was only one of a thousand ways he was different now. He did not exactly plan on becoming embroiled in a massive government alien cover-up either.  
And he definitely did not plan on Alex.  
How could Kyle have known that he and Alex would both end up back in Roswell? They were the ones that got out, Kyle to medical school, and Alex to the War. They both shook off the sand of their hometown. Now they were both back. Both older, both wiser, both carrying more weight. Both entangled in a drama equal parts intergenerational and intergalactic.   
No, Kyle did not plan on Alex ever being a part of his life again, but he hoped.  
Kyle did not have friends like Alex anymore. Not since he bet on the wrong people. He left behind his football teammates for med school without ever looking back, and the competitive, self-centered fellow med students he spent his time with after that did not exactly fit into the kind of person he was trying to be now. No one saw him, no one cared to look very deep. No one challenged him to be better or yelled at him when he was being a fool. No one cared enough about him to do any of that. Not since Alex.  
It was hard to admit, but admitting his feelings was part of the Kyle Valenti Self Improvement Program, and the truth was, he had been missing Alex since their friendship shattered all those years ago. Kyle did not see it back then as a teenager. He was cruel to Alex, unfeeling. He drove a wedge between them singlehandedly, no one to blame but himself. And every day after that last fight, there was some essential piece missing in the promising life of Kyle Valenti. It was only when his father’s secrets had him driving out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere, when he sat on the floor of Alex’s home with their old fishing pole in his hands that he realized what that missing piece was.  
Alex Manes.   
Alex and Kyle. Kyle and Alex. As children, there names were said together so frequently, it sounded weird to call for one without the other. Sometimes a friend, like Liz, would turn to Kyle and start talking as if Alex was there whether he was or not because it was so odd to see them apart. Despite looking entirely different, there was one teacher throughout elementary school who could never remember which of them was which, and consequently, they frequently answered for each other. Alex and Kyle. Kyle and Alex. They were an inseparable team until they were not.  
But now they were something. They were the ones who chased an alien serial killer together. They were solving the mysteries their fathers left behind. Kyle was the first person Alex called to search Caufield. They knew each other’s secrets again, and Kyle would not forget that they shared a few moments of genuine connection along the way.  
That was why when he realized that Jesse Manes was no longer in a coma, he frantically called Alex. “Meet me at your place,” he shouted at Alex’s voicemail. He called Liz next, leaving her with a “Bring Guerin,” as he pulled out and took off toward the cabin.   
_-_-_  
“He tried to kill me,” Kyle said, pacing between where Michael stood leaning against the wall, and where Liz sat on the edge of Alex’s couch. “And I have every reason to believe he’s going to try again, and Alex will be next.” Liz looked at him with worry and the slight glint in her eye that told him her brilliant mind was already working on a solution. Michael, on the other hand, looked livid.   
The door of Alex’s cabin clicked unlocked. Kyle turned around to find his friend’s cold eyes and a barrel of a gun. It took Alex a blink to lower the gun. There was a subtle shake in his hand, but Kyle was a doctor. He was used to catching the small warning signs. Alex’s expert eyes went from Kyle to Liz to Michael, catching there a moment before snapping back to Kyle’s. “What the hell are you doing in my house, Valenti?” Michael was on his feet now.  
“We got here first so with Michael’s power, he just…undid the lock,” Kyle answered.  
“He didn’t know we were coming?” Michael said.  
“If I did, I wouldn’t be here,” Alex said, his tone sharp and Michael flinched. Kyle watched Alex’s eyes dart back to him. “You shouldn’t have broken in. I could have shot you.”  
“Alex,” Liz said, “We just want to help you.”  
“We should go,” Michael said.  
“No, I’ll go,” Alex said, he turned, but Kyle caught his arm. The look the soldier sent him was cold.   
“Alex…”  
“You shouldn’t have told them without talking to me, Valenti.”  
“Like you did with Jenna?”  
Alex shook his arm free. “Maybe we shouldn’t be working together then.”  
“Are we? Are we working together, Alex?” Kyle asked, his tone heating up. “Because it feels an awful lot like you just tell me what to do and give me only as much information as you want.” Kyle ran a hand down his face. “You don’t want a team. You want soldiers.” It was out of his mouth before Kyle connected his words with their meaning, but he saw Alex made the connection a fraction of a second sooner. He saw the way Alex tensed and knew him well enough to recognize it as pain. “Alex…”  
This time Alex did turn and walk out. Kyle saw Guerin move to go too, but Kyle held up his hand. “No, this is our fight,” he said and took off after him.   
Alex walked to his car but stopped there facing it. Kyle saw the way his hands were balled up and the slight shake of suppressed movement in him. “I…uh…appreciate that you didn’t just punch me in the face. I probably deserved it.”   
“I’m not my father,” Alex said, his words clipped.  
Kyle walked over, approaching him slowly like he would one of his mom’s rescued dogs, carefully in case be decided to bolt. “I know,” he said, “I never thought you were.” Alex looked up at him, and he saw the slightest glint of moisture in the soldier’s eyes.   
“I shouldn’t be surprised you told them,” Alex said, abruptly. “You never were good at keeping my secrets.”  
Kyle felt the words more than if they were a physical hit. “I…” he stopped, ran a hand over his eyes. “I told you before, not every conversation is a battle, but it does seem like you want to make it one.” He let his hand drop. “I don’t want to fight with you, Alex.”  
“Then maybe you should let me leave.”  
“I don’t want to do that either.”  
“What do you want, Valenti? You want me to say you’re forgiven? You want me to tell you how much of a damn ally you’ve become and how that’s erased years of high school torture? You want me to make you feel better, so you don’t have to deal with your quarter life guilt crisis?”  
“What I want is to be your friend,” Kyle said. “I want to grab a damn beer with you. I want to actually talk, not just about our fathers’ twisted legacies. That moment in the bunker, talking about your feelings toward Guerin was one of the best moments I’ve had in years because it felt for a minute like we were friends again. I am sorry. I do feel bad, but I am not here because of some guilt complex. I care about you, and despite the complete asshole I became, I always did. It took me a while to remember, Alex, but I always did.” He shook his head.   
Through the whole speech, Alex stared at the ground, keeping his expression entirely hidden from the doctor. Kyle watched him stand there in silence, and the moment dragged on.  
“You need to tell them to leave,” he said.  
“I will.” Kyle watched him, trying to get any read, see any reaction.  
“There are beers in the fridge.” He looked at him, “I’m going for a walk.”  
_-_-_  
It took a bit of work to convince Liz that despite the potential danger, Alex needed space. Michael was easier. The minute Kyle returned, he took off. He could not get out of there fast enough. Liz, on the other hand, squeezed Kyle’s arm. “Keep him safe and tell him…tell him I care about him and I’m going to keep working on this.”  
“I kind of suspect it wasn’t you he was so mad to see,” Kyle replied. Liz nodded, her face tight.  
“Michael and Maria.”  
“What, really?” Kyle really did not talk to enough people in town. His knowledge of current gossip was excessively low. Liz nodded, her face tight. Kyle could see the conflicted loyalty written on her furrowed brow. She patted his arm.   
“I’m going to solve this.”  
Because somehow talking about murderous parents and aliens was easier for all of them than discussing feelings, Kyle realized again. He nodded to Liz as she left.  
Enough time passed that Kyle was starting to wonder if Alex really was coming back, but this was his house. Where else would he go? Then the thought hit him. What if something had happened to him? He should never have let Alex go off alone when his father was out there. What if he was hurt or worse?  
The door clicked open, and Kyle’s eyes shot to the soldier as Alex walked in, feeling his anxiety slip back slowly down to a more normal baseline—which to be honest, was always a bit high these days. Alex did not look calmer from the walk. In fact, if anything, he looked more shaken.  
He stood in front of Kyle, looking like he was working up to saying something. Kyle realized this was probably the moment he got thrown out. Probably Alex was about to list the million reasons he hated him and add the very valid point of how dare he even ask him to be his friend again.  
Kyle was not expecting what he actually said. “I don’t know how to be your friend.” The doctor lowered himself to the couch, watching Alex, but the other remained standing there. “I don’t know how to trust you, Kyle, and honestly, I’m not sure I know how to trust anybody. I’m not the person you knew. I don’t have anyone anymore. Liz is…her life is completely full. My family is not only abusive but apparently genocidal. And Michael and Maria.” His voice shook. “I don’t know how to be around them without hating them right now, and I really don’t want to hate them so…it’s easier just not to be around. I can’t even find the damn beagle Mimi seems to think I’m supposed to adopt. That’s everyone. So you’re it, Kyle. You’re the whole of everyone in my life right now. So if I let you cross that line. If I give you a chance and you fail me again, I’m completely alone. I know it’s harsh, but it’s the best I can do.”  
Kyle let out a breath, feeling it shake slightly.  
“I can’t promise you I’m not going to completely fuck up being your friend again, obviously. I’ve done it before,” Kyle said, his voice husky with emotion. “But I’m trying, I’m trying to be better.” He saw Alex almost sink onto the couch, as far from him as possible. “Alex, I will never stop being sorry for failing you. If you want me to follow you around, if you want me to be team anti-project Sheppard, and shut up about everything else I will. If that’s what it takes, I will.”  
It turned out, Alex was not done surprising Kyle that night. “I took your advice. I went to Guerin, I told him how I felt. I didn’t treat it as a battle, I completely said everything. And he left me sitting there, waiting for him. He never came.” He shook his head, “I told him I’m afraid I’m becoming my father and…I realize now, he’s afraid of that too.”  
“I don’t pretend to have any special insight into the mind of Michael Guerin, but I know you. You’re not your father, Alex. Just now, when I pissed you off, you could have thrown a punch, but you chose to go for a walk. That’s you. You have this depth of kindness that extends to everyone but yourself. You still believe in right and wrong. You let your beliefs about the world change when they are challenged instead of digging in. You’re in every way a better man than your father.”  
Alex got up, and Kyle thought for a minute he was going to leave again, but he came back with two beers and offered one to Kyle before sitting down. There was not so much distance between them this time.  
“So, I know you are probably going to dismiss it again, and I know you’ve been through worse like you keep saying, but what I did to you is still the worse thing we’ve been through together.” Kyle looked at him, “I am sorry. That’s not enough, but I am. I should have been there for you, I should have seen what was happening, and should never have isolated you. Been cruel to you like that. I’m sorry, Alex.” He lifted his hand, “I don’t expect you to forgive me or make me feel better. I just wanted you to know that.”  
“Yeah, I may not be as over it as I said I was,” Alex said, his voice soft as he glanced Kyle’s way.  
“I didn’t really think you were.” Kyle leaned back and took a sip of the beer. “You know, when I told Liz and Michael you were in trouble, they showed up. No questions asked. I get that things can be complicated with them, but I think you may be less alone than you think.” He studied the other man’s profile. “I know what worry looks like. Michael cares about you.”  
“Maybe,” he said, but he did not sound convinced. Kyle let it drop, he heard the tone and knew without a doubt that Alex had hit his limit of opening up on that front today. He leaned back into the couch.   
“So, I need to watch Star Trek, right? Learn about this Jedi stuff?”  
Alex’s shoulders loosened slightly, “I can’t believe how ignorant you are.”  
“What? I have huge gaps in my understanding sure, but I’m willing to learn,” Kyle said, “I’m willing to try.”  
“Well, that makes it all better than,” Alex said, his tone dry. Kyle knew they were not just talking about scifi and he smiled. They were not okay as such, but they were something. There was beginning a small, tentative approach toward something resembling friendship. It was not much, but, Kyle reflected as the yellow letters began to fly up over the John Williams theme, over having no Alex in his life, Kyle would take this any day.


End file.
